Today I had a large mole on my chin removed! Yeah! I went to a plastic surgeon to have it taken off and left with a pretty nice size incision on my chin -- about a 1" - 1 1/2" vertical cut -- with about 10-12 stitches in it. I am thankful to have the mole off of my face and am sure that I'll be even more pleased as it heals.
Anyway, Isaac told me that I "look like a pirate that had a sword cut his face!" Hmmm ... I've always tried to instill honesty in my children as one of their core character traits, yet at times, times like today, I wonder WHY ... children can be so brutally honest at times, huh? I did get a chuckle out of the comment though. I think the boys think I look cool with a big 'ol pirate battle scar on my face!
I just had to share that one with you all. I've got a baby to feed ... a baby that can't talk yet to tell me what a freak I look like, so I'll treasure the time with him.
Argh, mateys! Hope you all are having a swashbucklin' day!
Your friend,
The Pirate
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Heavy Heart...
Well, I'll warn you ... if you are reading this, this is going to be a different post for me. It's late and I can't sleep and thought perhaps if I "journal" some of what is going on in my mind, maybe I'll find the peace that I'm longing for. It's worth a try, right?
It was Tuesday morning of this week. It was a bitter cold day outside and it was snowing, a wet, dreary snow (snow, to me, is dreary in general ... I much prefer warm sunshine). I was driving to Narvon for a Pretty Unique show that I was doing. I was driving along not paying much attention to anything, just glancing at the directions I had in my hand, looking for the road that I needed to turn at when I saw it. A familiar white church ... and a small tombstone -- mainly because I knew exactly where to look -- because it wasn't overly visible from the road. And, a wave of emotions hit me in a very unexpected way! I wasn't prepared for it at all, which may be why it's been on my mind the remainder of this week.
It's left me longing to remember every little detail of his face, his tiny little body that I was able to hold for way too short of a time ... wondering what he would look like today -- at 15 years of age! Wondering if he'd be tall and blond like his Daddy, with eyes bluer than the sea like 3 of his brothers, or would he carry my dark features? Perhaps he'd be into sports and be able to teach his brother Isaac all of his "tricks," or maybe he'd, too, have a passion for learning, science and math like his brother Jackson. Maybe he'd be strong-willed and a "clown" like his brother Tyler. Or, would he be very easy going and content like his brother Parker? Oh, I just wonder what traits he would have that would make him "him!" One thing I know for sure ... he would have been loved and treasured and did I mention loved!
Tonight I feel sad that I never had the chance to learn what his favorite food would be, know what bedtime story would be his favorite, see how he'd write his name, hear him read a book, tickle his back, snuggle with him when he'd feel sick, feel my heart flutter at the sight of his smile. It makes me sad that I never got to be his mother.
It's crazy how a simple drive to a Pretty Unique party sparked a whole slew of emotions ... emotions that I haven't felt so strongly in a long time. Emotions that I rarely ever talk about to anyone ... but emotions that are real, too real.
I think of all of the joy that Jackson, Isaac, Tyler and Parker bring to my life. And, I feel blessed. I truly do. I feel grateful and happy and full; yet at times, times like this week, I can't help but think of how my life would be further enriched if he -- Kevin Matthew -- were here with us, living each day with us. Hmmm ...
Ahhh ... it was therapy for me to be able to get this off my chest. Perhaps I'll be able to get some sleep now...just as soon as I go kiss each of my sleeping munchkins.
I'll try to make my next post more of what you've come to expect. I do thank you for allowing me to share my heart tonight.
It was Tuesday morning of this week. It was a bitter cold day outside and it was snowing, a wet, dreary snow (snow, to me, is dreary in general ... I much prefer warm sunshine). I was driving to Narvon for a Pretty Unique show that I was doing. I was driving along not paying much attention to anything, just glancing at the directions I had in my hand, looking for the road that I needed to turn at when I saw it. A familiar white church ... and a small tombstone -- mainly because I knew exactly where to look -- because it wasn't overly visible from the road. And, a wave of emotions hit me in a very unexpected way! I wasn't prepared for it at all, which may be why it's been on my mind the remainder of this week.
It's left me longing to remember every little detail of his face, his tiny little body that I was able to hold for way too short of a time ... wondering what he would look like today -- at 15 years of age! Wondering if he'd be tall and blond like his Daddy, with eyes bluer than the sea like 3 of his brothers, or would he carry my dark features? Perhaps he'd be into sports and be able to teach his brother Isaac all of his "tricks," or maybe he'd, too, have a passion for learning, science and math like his brother Jackson. Maybe he'd be strong-willed and a "clown" like his brother Tyler. Or, would he be very easy going and content like his brother Parker? Oh, I just wonder what traits he would have that would make him "him!" One thing I know for sure ... he would have been loved and treasured and did I mention loved!
Tonight I feel sad that I never had the chance to learn what his favorite food would be, know what bedtime story would be his favorite, see how he'd write his name, hear him read a book, tickle his back, snuggle with him when he'd feel sick, feel my heart flutter at the sight of his smile. It makes me sad that I never got to be his mother.
It's crazy how a simple drive to a Pretty Unique party sparked a whole slew of emotions ... emotions that I haven't felt so strongly in a long time. Emotions that I rarely ever talk about to anyone ... but emotions that are real, too real.
I think of all of the joy that Jackson, Isaac, Tyler and Parker bring to my life. And, I feel blessed. I truly do. I feel grateful and happy and full; yet at times, times like this week, I can't help but think of how my life would be further enriched if he -- Kevin Matthew -- were here with us, living each day with us. Hmmm ...
Ahhh ... it was therapy for me to be able to get this off my chest. Perhaps I'll be able to get some sleep now...just as soon as I go kiss each of my sleeping munchkins.
I'll try to make my next post more of what you've come to expect. I do thank you for allowing me to share my heart tonight.
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