You know, there were many Mother's Days that had a very "different" feel for me than this one does. Not because I wasn't happy to celebrate my dear mom, but because the very thought of the day made me feel robbed, empty and, frankly, hopeless. I carried a baby, fell in love with this being that was growing inside me and gave birth to him ... and then watched him die in my arms. From the time I was a little girl I envisioned being a "mommy" but this experience wasn't anything like what I imagined. Nothing. I was his mother, but I longed to hold him, love him and mother him. Consequently Mother's Day became a very hard day for me in the years following the birth of my first son. A day of ... dread, to be quite honest.
As I enter into this Mother's Day, I feel so thankful for the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon my life.
- I am thankful to be actively fulfilling the role of Mother / Mommy / Mama. What a gift it is! It is my "career of choice," if you will. It is the job I longed for my whole life and it is what brings me fulfillment and joy. True joy. It is what I believe the Lord has for me. And I thank Him for entrusting me with this calling.
- I am thankful for the 4 little living beings that I am Mommy to. Jackson, Isaac, Tyler & Parker. And, I am thankful for Kevin Mathew ... I know I'll see him again one day.
- I am thankful for the man whose children I am Mommy to. Kevin. The love of my life, my best friend and soul mate.
- I am thankful for my Mom, my friend.
- I am thankful for many other Mothers whom I love!
I hope this Mother's Day your heart is filled with joy and peace. Mine is and I am so grateful.
Happy Mother's Day!
2 comments:
Those 4 Handsome, Sweet and PERFECT
boys of yours are the light of my life and I thank God every day that I get to share a part of their lives. The one thing I look forward too is: Sitting in my rocking chair and watching the beautiful "HOSTETTER 7, REUNION IN HEAVEN". Nicole, I believe you will get the opportunity for all you have longed for with Kevin Matthew.
Love Mom
what a precious post. we are walking with a couple from church who just had a full term stillborn. my heart is broken for them...i don't know how to help. anyway, thanks for your post. i can't imagine...ever...missy.
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